MPAA Rating: R/Genre: Sci-Fi Horror/Stars: Kevin Dillon, Shawnee Smith, Donovan Leitch, Jeffrey DeMunn, Candy Clark, Joe Seneca, Del Close, Sharon Spelman, Beau Billingslea, Art LaFleur, Ricky Paull Goldin, Paul McCrane, Michael Kenworthy, Douglas Emerson, Robert Axelrod, Bill Moseley, Erika Eleniak, Jack Rader, Jack Nance/Runtime: 95 minutes

If there was ever a word in existence that I think is quicker to send a shudder down the spine, cause a roll of the eyes, or even make an audience of movie goers cringe in a not so-delightful cocktail blend of fear and/or trepidation than any other I think that the word in question would have to be “remake”. Not that it’s a particularly nasty or filthy word by any means (and nor is it one that if you are a little kid and you say it will it be one that quickly sees your mom and dad wash your mouth out with soap…assuming of course there are parents still in existence that do this). Rather, it’s simply because of the fact that for every remake that manages to actually work there are at least 5-100 (or something like that) which will definitely leave you scratching your head in a mix of frustration as well as straight up befuddlement going “what in the heck was Hollywood thinking when they gave THIS the greenlight?!” To be sure, this isn’t the fault of the film itself (as many times as there have been where I would have loved to lay the blame there and then just call it a day and be done with the whole ordeal). Instead, it just seems like either someone in Hollywood wanted to make a quick buck, there was just this whole thought-process that “it was time to update this for a whole new generation”, the desperation for ideas on movies to make has gotten to the point of seemingly no return, or whatever the heck they were thinking when they made that 2016 Ghostbusters “remake” (still have yet to fully figure that one out dear reader). At any rate, there is no denying that perhaps this is why for every remake that turns into one akin to 1978’s take on Invasion of the Body Snatchers, you can be sure there are more than a few resembling either 2016’s take on Ben-Hur or the 1998 take on Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho waiting in the wings to really make you miserable or leave your faith in the land of movie magic more shaken and stirred than any of the martinis James Bond has drank over the years. This brings us to the slice of cinema that I am reviewing for you today dear reader in the shape and form of 1988’s remake of that “seminal” horror film known as The Blob and honestly I must confess this film actually managed to surprise me dear reader. Not because they turn the titular entity into something resembling the singing and dancing frog from Looney Tunes (or Michigan J. Frog for you aficionados out there). Rather, it’s because, for all of this film’s flaws, I found myself quite entertained from beginning to end here. To be sure, it’s not perfect by any stretch, but with the aid of capable work on both sides of the camera the 1988 take on The Blob is one ooze-fueled nightmare that manages to be fairly slimy fun for fans of horror cinema and B-movie creature features in equal measure.

The plot is as follows: Trickling its way onto the screen, the 1988 take on The Blob gets its story underway by taking us to the small community of Arborville in the state of California. A fairly picturesque place that, among other things worth knowing about it, is the kind of community that depends on the tourists to stay afloat, where everyone knows everyone, and where the big thing on a Saturday afternoon is to go watch the local high school football team destroy whoever they happen to be playing that weekend. It is at that game incidentally where we find ourselves crossing paths with some of the characters we will be following on this particular cinematic nightmare. Those being an upstanding young man, and star quarterback, by the name of Paul Taylor and “good girl”/top cheerleader named Megan “Meg” Penny respectively. When we are first introduced to the pair, it is clear that (despite Meg being in a relationship with someone else) she definitely has a thing for Paul. Perhaps this is why, following some playful prodding by one of his teammates to just buck up and ask her out, we see that Paul does just that albeit after nearly getting the wind knocked out of him by some of the opposing team. From there, the film also proceeds to introduce us to someone else who is going to be of significant importance to the overall narrative. That being the town “bad boy” Brian Flagg. A young man who just hasn’t had the breaks a lot of the other people in town his age have gotten and so decides to engage in either acts of juvenile delinquency, fixing up his prized bike, or both much to the consternation of the good-natured town sheriff who still feels there’s good in the lad despite the bad boy exterior he presents himself with. At any rate, we see that later that day it isn’t long before these three people will find themselves crossing paths when an elderly homeless man witnesses a meteorite make impact near town and, upon investigating further, find that it contains a Nickelodeon-style slime that quickly sticks itself onto the man’s hand and begins to eat away at it. As a result, the man comes staggering out of the woods in pain only to wind up right in the path of Paul’s car whilst he is on his date with Meg with Brian then popping up out of the woods a few minutes later. Yet by agreeing that the best thing for this man is to get him to the town hospital right away, we see that our trio are doing more than just ensuring that a man gets the medical attention he so desperately needs. Rather, they also (even if they don’t realize it at the time) walking face first into a nightmare that will eventually take the entire town and plunge it into a desperate battle for survival against a nemesis unlike any other. As for what this means for our band of heroes to say nothing of the various other denizens in town that I will leave for you to discover for yourself….

Now right off, it should be said that whilst the work done behind the camera on this slice of horror cinema is by no means perfect it also isn’t a complete slog fest by any stretch of the imagination either. This starts with the work done at the helm by Chuck Russell (Nightmare on Elm Street 3 and the first Scorpion King movie from 2002 among others) and he definitely delivers here. Not only in doing a great job at luring audiences in with a fairly solid 24-25 minutes of just permitting us to spend time with the characters before really permitting the titular organism to wreck some serious havoc on the unsuspecting populace, but by cutting it loose in a way that is nothing short of downright thrilling and chilling in equal measure. This is because Russell does a terrific job, with the aid of phenomenal work from the cinematography department, at not only peppering this film with a variety of Blob attack sequences that will leave you on the edge of your seat especially in terms of their viscerality and how well shot they are, but also in terms of making this slice of cinema one that, without going into spoilers, isn’t really all that predictable. Oh sure, you have the characters that you would definitely expect to see here like the disapproving parent, the upstanding town sheriff, the goodhearted diner owner, the rebel with a cause, and even the guy who’s as pure as the driven snow. Yet what this film does so well is operate with this mentality of “anything goes” which then ensures it can take its cast of characters and make it so you literally have no idea who (if anyone) is going to make it out of this film alive against the 80s equivalent to fat Majin Buu here. Speaking of I think I should also now point out that praise should most assuredly be given to the work done by the visual effects department for their incredible skill in bringing the titular entity to life. Yes in many respects, it does look exactly how like you think it would when revealed in full, but what the visual effects team manages to do here is actually give the entity moments where it actually behaves like a sentient organism instead of….what it actually is right down to showcasing fear, anger (quite a bit of that) toward specific people, and even just plain annoyance when people keep getting in its way. The visual effects team also deserves praise for how they handle the more than significant number of visceral (and maybe just a wee bit icky) deaths that the Blob leaves in its wake. Indeed, in the hands of this team, the Blob here is not content with simply absorbing victims and instead takes great pride in dispatching with them in a way that more closely resembles what your stomach does when it digests food (you’re welcome). I mean if there is anything that really brings the work behind the camera down a notch or 2 it would have to be the work done in terms of the script. I say this because not only does it feel like there is an entire first act to this film that was left on the cutting room floor to say nothing of the story itself feeling rushed, but even the characters themselves aren’t given a lot in terms of characterization and instead (by and large) find themselves reduced to mere archetypes despite the game efforts of the cast. Even with that hurdle in mind however, there is no denying that the work behind the camera is certainly more than capable at getting the job done.

Of course, it should also be said that (aforementioned severe lack of characterization aside) the work done by the cast of talent in front of the camera is not bad all things considered. Without question this starts with the performance given by Kevin Dillon and, absolutely horrendous yet undeniably iconic 80s mullet he’s rocking aside, he’s actually not that bad here. Indeed as Brian Flagg, Dillon does terrific at playing this character who, upon first meeting him, just comes across as nothing more than the typical “teen punk rebel” right down to his leather jacket and motorcycle only to show as the film goes on that there is a lot more to him than initially meets the eye. Working brilliantly alongside Dillon in this is the performance given by Shawnee Smith in the role of Meg Penny. Yes the chemistry between her and Dillon can be a bit spotty at times, but that’s more so due to the script rather than the work done by Smith in the part as it is through her performance that we get to see her character go from this very sensitive and fairly one-note individual to an outright blob butt busting wonder woman by the end. Now besides the work done by both Dillon and Smith, it should be noted that this slice of cinema does provide them with an admirable roster of support talent to back them up. This starts with Donovan Leitch in the role of Paul Taylor. Indeed this is a very intriguing character for reasons I can’t really talk about here a whole lot for….reasons, but what I can tell you is that Leitch does a great job at playing this kid who is very much a fantastic blend of righteous, upstanding, and honorable. Alongside the work done by Leitch, I also really enjoyed the performance given by iconic character actor Jeffrey DeMunn (Capt. Estridge in the 1986 take on The Hitcher and, more recently, Paul Giamatti’s dad on the show Billions to name but a few examples) as Sheriff Herb Geller. Indeed DeMunn does a terrific job at playing this small-town sheriff with a mix of affability and decency whilst also remaining very much an upstanding and skilled law enforcement officer albeit one who might be a wee bit out of his element with the arrival of this distinct entity into his town. I also think that praise should definitely be afforded to Joe Senecca (Dr. Hanes from The Cosby Show) who is a brilliant choice for the role of Dr. Christopher Meddows. Yes, it might take a while for him to pop up in this, but once he does make his presence known in this Senecca does a wonderful job at playing this character with a mix of authority, menacing, and just downright dogged with a splash of single-minded in regards to what his character is striving to achieve in this film. Lastly, I would be amiss if I didn’t take some time to focus on the work done here by iconic acting coach Del Close in the role of Reverend Meeker. Indeed it might not be the biggest part in the film, but Close does a wonderful job of playing this small town pastor with a degree of eccentricity and just the right hint of ominous that really works especially with, without going into spoilers, where the story takes his character by the end of the film. Suffice it to say that when you also factor in efforts from such talents as Candy Clark (whose last scene in this is among the most haunting in the entire film), Beau Billingslea (Jet Black from Cowboy Bebop), Art LaFleur, Paul McCrane, Robert Axelrod, and Bill Moseley among others it’s clear that this film might have its issues, but the work done by this cast of players is certainly not one of them despite the script really impeding their efforts.

All in all and at the end of the day is the 1988 take on The Blob a perfect slice of horror cinema? Sadly no, but then again very few movies ever manage to attain that. With that in mind, is this the worst horror remake my eyes, my mind, and I have been cursed with seeing since 2005’s The Fog, 2010’s A Nightmare on Elm Street, or even (dare I say) 2006’s The Wicker Man? Much to my happiness let alone peace of mind I can thankfully say that is most assuredly not the case either. I mean make no mistake dear reader: this slice of cinema is one that is definitely flawed thanks in large part to the fact that not only does the whole thing feel rushed, but the cast of characters aren’t given a whole lot in terms of characterization and above all it also feels like there is an entire act of the film that either went missing in the Bermuda Triangle or fell victim to the Rapture since it’s absolutely nowhere to be found. A choice that, as a result, causes the movie to give off the vibe that we are starting at the middle of this particular story rather than at where it was properly meant to begin. With that in mind however, the cast does manage to do the best they can with what little they are given, the visual effects and death scenes are (pardon the pun) out of this world in terms of their execution, the work at the helm is solid, and the story is still fairly intriguing especially when taking into account the fact that it is highly unpredictable in certain key aspects. Suffice it to say then it might not be the ooze-all, end-all when it comes to this kind of cinematic fare, but there is also no denying that the 1988 take on The Blob is still one fairly engaging slice of horror cinema that I have no doubt you and the slimes (or friends as they can also be called) in your life will enjoy time and time again. Just make sure to not go poking around any weird meteorites before or after you watch it. Trust me: you might be thanking me later. Make of what thou will dear reader. On a scale of 1-5 I give The Blob “88” a solid 3.5 out of 5.